The Slayer I am, Buffy Summers I was
by LillyRose
Summary: This last thoughts of Buffy Summers before she gaves her life up for her little sister Dawnie. Everything from what life will be like for her sister, to the things she should of done. While i was wirteing this i even started to cry. It is a deep story, th


(I do not own any of the 'Buffy: The vampire slayer' people. I am just using them for my own little fun. No one was hurt in the making of this story and everyone will be let go after wards. I hope you enjoy the story..)  
  
  
The slayer I am, Buffy Summers I was.  
By: Lilly Rose   
  
  
  
  
I hear the siren's summons, as she stands on the mountain of pain we put together.   
  
I feel the heat in the air, as if someone has place it there. What Fairy tale am I living in? Is there going to be 7 little crazy men? Or a big bad wolf waiting for me?  
  
Can I hide in your eyes and not hear the Siren's cry? Why do I know that my role is about to change? What life am I living that I wont live again?  
  
In all of the kingdoms, in all of the worlds and words, why am I the chosen one to fight?  
  
I have seen my fair share of monsters, but they were all human before. Now they are so different, no face can be trusted, masks by the dozen.   
  
Even the devil can have a child's face. I have killed, destroyed masters, not so great any more. Seen the other of my kind fall in to the dark pit of evil that's so strong, I don't want to know about it.   
  
There are Watchers and there are doers, but sometimes Watchers can be more.   
  
Witches can be fiends, not all of the spells evil and bad, a few of the good.. A few of the sad... Vampires can be lovers... Sometimes.  
  
What message can I leave for one so young, but isn't alive at all?  
  
All the little worries dancing in my head. What will it be for her when I am died? What story is she going to live? Are the members of my little band qualified to watch over the 'Key' of my heart and the world.   
  
DEATH!  
  
I've seen so much death! Why does it have to be the gift I am giving?  
  
Should I have loved one I used to hate? Should I have seen the feelings in him?  
  
What does it matter now as I take the steps towards the end..?  
  
But is this the end? I've danced with hell Gods and their sins. Seen in the anger in myself. I've killed many... But how many have I saved?  
  
Will there be angels or will I be spiked to the ground?  
  
Will they forgive me? Wash away my sins, set me a fire and never ever let their hopes fade again   
Blood, it's always blood.. Blood is the life, the life!  
  
Forgive me, Mother for I have sinned and might do it again . Then again.. I enter into the light, in to the void of death tonight.   
  
There is no waking up from this dream, from the knowage I will never see my beloved friends again.  
  
~ For Spike:  
I should of gave him some kind of love, should let him see that what he said and done. Means more then he will ever know. Those words still swim in my heart even now. I am a fool to think he would forget me, I was the monster that knew no love. He was a child of innocents not so innocent. He tried, he showed me everything that he held inside. May he find the one that will forever hold him close, and never lose that chip.  
  
~ For Xander:  
That silly man, whose heart seems to always fall for the odd. From big bugs, mummies, and now a lovely ex-demon girl. What could I say to him, how much could I gave to him. He seemed to play the part of the fall guy in our tale. But that is not so, yes he was the one who got sick, ate bugs and other dirty little things. But also knew how to do it with steal. His jokes filled us with a silly kind of laughter. His eyes looked at me with love and trust, his mask that of a witless charm. A brother, who is braver then he seems. Then he sees, may he always love his ex-demon girl friend.  
  
~ For Anya:  
This one who brought upon us an evil, vampiress that looked like a friend. This one who sees the world with new eyes, like a child. Sweet not so evil ex-demon, Anya. Always, speaking with a truth that not many want to hear. I hope she stays happy learning, asking things we don't all see. And may she always have the money...  
  
~ For both (Xander and Anya):  
Both she and he will be wonderful in their Sunday best on that wedding day. I will never see for them. But will be there some how, even if I am watching from a cloud or a rock below.   
  
~For Willow:  
The hacker, the witch, Willow! Sister, my friend, she has been so strong for me. Spells casted, helping me with all my hellish demons and ones not so bad. She changed, scared me a little, but I'll always love her. She will always grow stronger, powerful and wiser. She loved her share of odd and wonderful things. But may this witch forever have the other, may she always be happy with her true love. No matter what sex it is or who it is, as long as she is happy.   
  
~For Angel:  
The one who stole my heart, I can never forget him. He will always be my true soul mate. Love we fought for, we were lost in a moment that can never happen again. Even if our souls and bodies cry out for it.   
Angel, my Angel, always there for me, no matter how much he hurts. He stays for me. I will always wear his ring in my heart. Forever my Angel till death do us part.   
  
~For Giles:  
Giles, father, watcher, and teacher, a man who is more then his means. What I must of done to him. Running away, mouthing off, giving him head aches and heart aches. I pray that Dawn doesn't do the same to him. He loved my mother, more sometimes then I wanted to know. His smile, his eyes when he looked upon me. Always love, always trust, he understood, he knew more about me then I'll ever know. I wish, wishing on a star. That I told him, whispered or yelled how much I truly cared for that man. Who will always be my father in my heart.   
  
  
~For Dawn:  
And she who is my sister, but made of untold power. The one I gave everything to. I end my being giving her a life. How much I hope a normal one. Dawn, my sun in my life that has been only darkness. A little girl who is so much more. My tears will always fall softly for her, my laugh always because of her now. I'll whisper the words to her, let her know how much I care. Let her be the messager, the one who hears my voice last.   
When I turn from her, my heart beating in my ears, telling me once again and again. Blood is the life.. Blood is the key!  
  
I run, I jump, I feel it hit me. The light eats at my soul, sending feelings of pain into my being and theses thoughts into my head. I relive everything, every sound, every sight, and every fight that has filled my life in Sunnydale.   
  
The slayer I am, Buffy Summers I was. Seen and unseen my story has been. To heaven or hell I go.  
  
I've seen Hell...  
  
Maybe this time I'll gave heaven a try.   
  
How knows, I know not I. This just death that I die.   
  
By L. R  
  
(Hey guys and girls, all you Buffy fans. I have great news, after hunting down things on the net I have learned Buffy is not over, and in fact it will be starting some time in Oct. On UPN! Please tell me what you think of this little thing I wrote, please if you do not like it, tell me what you don't like, what I can change to make it better, or if you do like it.. tell me why. This is the only way I can get better at my writing.   
  
Thanks,   
Lilly Rose) 


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